Worst name for a product. Ever.

Swedes In Dire Need Of Environmental Help

It has recently come to my attention that a new environmental problem has been brewing in Sweden. No, it isn't the global warming problem, because that is brewing everywhere. Global warming is probably mostly caused by fossil fuel consumption used to produce the energy needed to get the noble message of global warming out into the public. The problem that the Swedes face is overfishing.

For decades, we've thought that the salmon were in danger, that dolphins suffer from tuna fishing. But today, I'd like to submit a new victim, the Swedish Fish. I'll be the first to admit that I love Swedish Fish, and that I eat them like crazy. It doesn't matter what size they are; I'll eat the big fish as well as the baby ones. Heck, if they had caviar, I'd gladly eat that.

Obviously, since I'm admitting my problem, I can be trusted to see this issue without bias. This is one of the classic ways to pretend that there isn't bias. "Admit and Attack," the triple A of bias-less-ness. So, we all need to eat less Swedish Fish. Go out and write your Congressperson. They probably won't do anything. They're out enjoying their complimentary meals, and their "conferences" in Disneyland. But don't worry, there are other ways to get action.

Ecoterrorism would be an excellent way to protect the Swedish Fish. I say we hold an Ikea hostage until the Swedes are willing to cooperate. This would be highly effective, and I propose that at the same time, we declare that global warming is destroying the environment of the Swedish Fish. Linking any problem to global warming gets instant attention and results.

This blog is going on for too long. This is a direct result of global warming.