Oh my gosh, Whimpey was in the pool tonight! And yes, ladies, he DOESN'T look so Whimpey with his shirt off. I know all the Whimpey fans out there are desperate for the update, so I'll share all the juicy details with you.OMG! I talked to Michael J. Whimpey! Here's the conversation, pretty much verbatim:
Whimpey: Hey, do they have swim lessons here in the summer?
Me: Yeah.
Whimpey: Do they have diving lessons?
Me: No, sir. Go ahead. (Whimpey goes down slide with daughter)
Now, now, I know you're all a little "miffed" that I didn't say more to him, but I was too afraid that I might bring up painful memories of his campaign, and I didn't want to ruin his fun filled evening with his wife and kids.
'NOTHER REASON WHIMPEY'S GREAT: He actually knew our slide laprider policy. No questions asked, he just knew it. Only great people don't get angry with me when I explain it, and only the really really great people go down the slide to get a lifejacket for their kids. Mike Whimpey just showed up with his daughter and a lifejacket, ready to go.
UNFORTUNATELY, he can't dive very well. I'm no connoisseur of diving, but from the top of the slide tower, it didn't look so dignified.SIGNS OF APATHY AMONG TODAY'S YOUTH: I told the first guard who came to rotate me that the guy standing to her left, yes that one, next to the woman in the red swimming suit, was Michael J. Whimpey. She laughed, and then said "Who?" After that, I told several people, but no one knew who he was. It's sad when kids don't know who the candidates for their city council were.
So there you have it, the whole scoop on Whimpey Night. You just had to be there to really know how great it was.
PS: He grew a very short beard.
