On Thursday, it rained in the morning, resulting in an almost empty pool. I was a rover, so basically I was supposed to wander around helping any lifeguard who needed help with patrons. But there were none, so I created the Bobby Pin Challenge. The challenge was to pick up as many bobby pins off the floor as possible. I won, with a stunning 33 and a half bobby pins (I know, everyone has a problem with "half," but this literally was half a bobby pin.).
But this got me thinking. People can get fined for littering, but women lose bobby pins all the time without any punishment. This is because it is part of their biological makeup. Cats spit up fur balls, but but women are much more like dogs in this particular aspect. Women shed bobby pins. You can't hate them for it; it's just their nature.
However, it's important to consider the bobby pin issue when making choices in girls. It can make a huge difference in the bobby pin budget, not to mention the number you'll have to pick up. The shorter haired breeds shed less. Keep this in mind when you're finding the girl for you.
I'm sure this post will draw criticism from girls everywhere, but I was just telling it how it is. I'm sure you could find similar information on Wikipedia. However, I'll end up a martyr for this post. You'll find me on the pool deck, bobby pins stabbed into me in every direction. Pick 'em up, and you might be the new record holder of the bobby pin challenge.
Come, be in my tribe.
9 years ago
I bet that you rigged the challenge. You probably got most of the bobby pins out of your own hair sicko.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you think I cut my hair? Paul said, hey baby, if you ever want to get in a house, you gotta cut the bobby pin crap...we just can't afford the turnover. Without a better solution, we butched the dreads.
ReplyDeleteYou should have seen how many bobby pins I dropped in Nauvoo. And I believe you about the half bobby pin thing. I had many of those.
ReplyDeleteBobby pin shedding and flatulence are the two largest contributors to global warming. Think about it, women. For every bobby pin that is shed, a cute baby seal dies in the Arctic. Natalie, you probably decimated half the seal population just by yourself. Also, more people will die from bobby pin poisoning this year than will read a book to their children. This is a social and ecological problem of mammoth proportions!
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Splinger. I'm a horrible person. Well let's be honest here: who really likes seals?
ReplyDeleteOh wow Mark.... haha!! I'll just have you know that I rarely wear any bobby pins in my hair! It's only when I have to do my hair "up" really... like for Preference, I had around 40 pins in my hair to keep it all up. They didn't all stay in...but that's beside the point! ;)
ReplyDelete