Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Joe The Bummer

Nation, I’m furious. Yesterday, when I opened up this week’s copy of Time magazine, I found this disturbing piece of information:
Oh really, Joe the Plumber? Or is it Joe the Bummer? When you set foot upon the Straight Talk Express, did you expect to get off at the corner of Fame and Fortune? Well, you got off on the wrong stop, on Backstab Alley. If you had wanted another 15 seconds of fame, you should have just asked John McCain. The gracious senator would have obliged, just like he obliged Bush's desire to speak at the Republican National Convention.

Nation, we need to stand up against this plumbing plight. We need to boycott these pipemen. Next time your toilet gets backed up, you just flush that toilet once more. Take one for America. Don’t take betrayal for an answer. If this nation didn't demand plumber loyalty, we’d all still be using chamber pots.

When Big Plumbing rides out to Washington on their recliner toilets, asking for a government bailout, you kick them back down to the U-Bend.

And when that plumber comes to your house and starts offering the legal type of crack, you reach down and pull his underwear up. This country cannot afford to pander to the immorality of the pipegrabbing minority.

Nation, listen to me. Something needs to be done about the pipe crisis. If we don’t when they ask who killed America, it won’t be Colonel Mustard in the library with the rope. It’ll be Joe the Plumber in the lavatory with the lead pipe.

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Touchez. Really. Witty banter and clever references. I wish I had something funny to say back, but all I have is my most sincere compliments.

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  3. I told you I was going to delete it. Now you have no proof!

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  4. I know you're a man of your word, Kyler.

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