Stereotyping Sure Beats Monotyping

Have you ever seen someone really scary? And not just the creepy lunch lady who glares at you when you get the food? Like perhaps, an emo? Well, I have, and in my typical irresponsible way, I don't really care if you haven't because if you haven't guessed already, that was just a really lame way to introduce the subject I'm going to analyze. Or for you people who don't like lying, the subject I'm going to mock. Emo kids all dress in clothing that most people wouldn't be caught dead in. That's just a stereotype, but if this blogger doesn't rely on stereotypes, he might have to, GASP! do some actual research! Why do they all dress this way? The purpose is to be original, different, and progressive. However, all these "progressives", as the politically correct might refer to the common emo, seem to have the same "original" and "different" clothing styles.

The first aspect of the emo appearance is the use of black. Emos wear black shirts, black pants, black shoes, black eyeliner, black turbans, etc. This is because black is commonly associated with darkness and evil. In an attempt to gain the attention that they so desperately crave, emos attempt to associate themselves with evil. Obviously, this is an EXCELLENT tactic for getting attention.

Another aspect of the emo attire is body peircings. All parents with emo children have a great fear and dread of the day when a tiny voice tells their children that they have to get peircings. This is the voice of Satan. Just joking. It is actually the voice of popular culture, which, like many ideas or inanimate objects, can be anthropomorphized. (Discussion Question: Just how popular does a culture have to be to be considered a popular culture?) The voice of popular culture urges people to PAY people to literally ram a sharp object through their flesh, creating a hole in their flesh, so they can put ugly peices of metal and plastic in the holes to prevent the healing of their body. It makes a lot of sense.

The analysis of emo pants must be done in greater detail. There are two varieties of emo pants. The first is the ripped pants variety, and then there are the girl pants variety. The ripped pants variety comes from a clandestine deal between thrift stores, fashion experts, and pants making companies. The thrift stores sell used pants to pants making companies, which in turn throw them through a meat grinder, which gives them the "fashionable look" advocated by "fashion experts." The other variety of pants comes from the emos borrowing their older sisters' jeans. I will not go any further with this line of thought, because it might end with some hurt feelings, and a shooting of a certain blogger who doesn't want to be shot any time soon. You know what? I think this blogger is going to stop altogether for the previously stated reason. And because this blogger is hungry, and is going to go make lunch for himself.