Singing In The Snow

Contrary to the awesome title, I wasn't doing any singing in the snow. I'm sorry if you were misled in any way. But not sorry enough to change the title. Today during church, rather than having a Priesthood lesson, the Priests went and shoveled the walks of elderly people in the ward. Naturally, we were overjoyed. I'm not sure that that's a comment on the quality of our lessons, or the quality of our souls. "Whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos." Wait. Wrong story. We ended up shoveling what had to be the longest driveway in the city. Quite frankly, I believe that having a driveway longer than two car lengths should be punishable by the law. With death. Anyways, I think I'll write a summary of the event, and try to string together a couple of intelligent analytical thoughts. Or actually, I think I'll just say the things that bugged me, and then I'll try and come up with an analytical thought about it.

The first thing that bugged me was stated above. Why in the world do these people have such long driveways? Well, they're old, and they can afford it. Mostly because they sure aren't gonna be shoveling the walks. They know their ward is gonna do "service." Or perhaps they want to stay fit by having a long walk to get the mail. Or maybe they just like the view of concrete pavement. I'm all out of ideas. Next idea!

While we were shoveling, it just kept snowing. We were just about as effective as Pickett's charge. Which was almost successful, but not quite, so people just think of it as a loss, sort of like Al Gore in the 2000 elections. Basically, by the time we got to the end of the driveway, the other end was covered in snow again. Why were we doing this then? Well, it's because it's the thought that counts. Actually, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I mean, nobody pays for thoughts. "Faith without works is dead!" Basically, we were doing this because of a more clandestine reason. When we shoveled the walk would get wet, and then the walks would ice over. Pretty soon, we would get old people flying through the air, like some sort of sick twisted circus routine. And then they would die, and we wouldn't have to ever shovel the walks again! Score!

There were these kids who we were with basically did nothing but quote movies. I've already made my position on quoting clear, but I was wondering why in the world these kids were so worthless. Perhaps they were born under a worthless star. Maybe if they did any type of work, they would have an allergic reaction, and die in a sneezing fit. Cause we didn't have any epipens. Or maybe, but this is a stretch for me, they were just lazy. And basically, I'm lazy too. Because I'm done writing this. Sorry it was so lame this week, I just felt a need to vent in a really dumb "analytical" blog. Plus I wanted to Sir Rich to have a boring time reading at least one of my blogs.