Today (Friday, not Sunday at 1:43), my little sister got to bring a pillow, a blanket, and snacks to school. I got to drive to swim practice at five in the morning through the snow. What was the cause for such a large difference in our experience? Well, I'll tell you, because it's possible that someone might possibly know that today is Dr. Seuss's birthday. Now, what I want to know is why all the kids at Orem Elementary were celebrating this guy. I mean, he was rich when he was alive, what more does he want?
Not much is really known about the actual life of Dr. Seuss. As such, I will elaborate on his life, making him seem as sinister as possible. First, Dr. Suess really doesn't have the last name "Seuss." He was actually Theodor Seuss Geisel, and wasn't even a doctor. As if this deception wasn't enough, he often wrote under the pen name Theo Lesieg, which is "Geisel" backwards, showing an affinity for codes and secretive spy work. His name wasn't even pronounced the way we pronounce it. It rhymes with "voice," not "juice."
So what led to the success of the secretive mystery man? Well, thanks to what I call the Seuss Formula, which will be described, he rose to the top of the nonsensical rhyme industry. The parts of the Formula are as follows:
1) Use of rhyme. When rhyming is not possible, or might take too much thought, replace first letter of the other word with a different consonant, creating some new creature (what exactly is a "sneetch"?).
2) Use of weird pictures. Often, different creatures with different names like "grinch" or a "Sam-I-Am" look almost exactly the same, except with different colors.
3) Some sort of moral of the story. This adds to the "parents buy this for your kids so they can learn how to survive in the modern world of moral apathy" value of the book.
There you have it. Just follow the formula, and you too can become a famous "doctor" writing nonsense for millions. Happy Geisel Day!
Family Miracles
8 years ago
Funny; my little brother got to bring blankets and treats and fiction books to school today, too! It's a conspiracy. And just let me say: wow; you're such an involved student, what with swim and all. But just wait 'til next year -- "oh, the places you'll go!"
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ReplyDeleteAs A child I would despair
ReplyDelete“When I grow old will I lose my hair?”
But Dr. Seuss brought hope and glee
His rhymes sounded like hubabalubadanee
With cats and dogs all wearing clothes
He made me feel confident, even with my big nose
With green eggs and ham
Sam was the man
He was even nicer then that swim coach named Dan
Dr. Seuss is the King of kazoos
He brought children laughs when they were home sick with the poos
For your soul is lost if you find fault in this man
I think that is why you play clarinet in the band.
Your blog was from the place that murderers go
This blogger site really just blows
The lack of confidence you bring to this post
Shows that you’re not as smart as most
For when you mock my hero my king
It confirms that you are no more the a stupid-sigigaboling
P.S. The comment deleted was mine, I had to edit the blasphemy out of my poem.
P.P.S. I found it hard to read this blog, how low will you go to get an english grade. Mocking someone who is comparable to Clark. You have gone to far.
In all seriousness, most of Suess' books were actually sending messages about the Cold War and other contravercial, political issues. i learned about this in an article called "Cat Lover" or something like that in The New Yorker.
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