I'm taking French. I'll come out in the open and admit it. For the most part, I excel in the class. But for some reason, when I try and put the words into speech, they instantly identify me as an American. And then I'll get flustered and thinking hard about not speaking in English, start to speak Chinese. This is why, partially, I will be examining the reasons for why French is so hard in order to overcome this problem. I will also be analyzing because of Sir Rich. I will attempt to enlighten my dogmatic "blue-black" paradigm to become a philosopher, a true student of Richism (+20 for "so good" use of Rich-y Words). I've compiled a list (French for "a couple of paragraphs) of reasons why French is so hard:
1. It is illegal to pronounce the last part of any word. For example, if the word "word" were a French word, it would be spelled "wordsupercalifragilisticexpialidocious." Obviously, this is not a very efficient way of spelling things. This is why the French do NOT lead the world in industrial strength. The only two products that the French are known for are made slowly; wine and cheese are both "aged."
2. However, when it comes to speaking, the French are VERY efficient. They slur words together, and sometimes use just the first letter of a word to combine two words into a pronunciation nightmare comparable to the H-Bomb. Though conspiracy buffs might make a conspiracy from this information (imagine that!), I will try and make a logical coherent argument for the reason: they don't want to spend time talking. Instead, it will be used for the national French pastime, namely, staring out café windows, forlornly smoking.
3. Feminine and masculine words. France is a nation where gender equality stands no chance. Marie-Ségolène Royal stands no chance in the French presidential election. They have "Le Président," not "La Présidente." In fact, the only thing they really seem to agree on is that both female and male sexists are "sexistes." That's ironic (+20 for insightful "commentary").
Well, there you have it. Three reasons. I chose three because for some reason, it confers automatic credibility, which is why teachers teach the five paragraph essay. Remember these three reasons if for any reason you ever attempt to learn French.
Unless you're French, that is. In that case, I think you guys are just fantasticpneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!!!
Family Miracles
8 years ago
You take french huh? How's the old Mme. Peterson eh? What a character. What a character. This puts a whole new light on who you are dude.
ReplyDeleteI got your book. I opened it up and a Kira Ludwig in nice letters was spelled out on people who had used the book. Needless to say, I've brought hand sanitizer for that class ever since.
ReplyDeleteDid I write my name really big? I had a phase of writing my name really large. I think I wanted students to open it up, think of me, and then see if the Peter-miester still remembered me. I sure hope she does.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll let you know, with the number of times I sanitize and wash my hands on an hourly basis, that book had a virtual orb or germ fighting toxins around it when I used it.
=D You make me laugh.
ReplyDelete