Talking With My Peeps

Easter. It's a time when we can relax, remember the Savior, and eat ham. Luckily (If this word, in conjunction with the last sentence, and the sentence coming up offend you, please omit it), that's not all. Easter could also be called Peep Day. Peeps, those wonderful sugar coated marshmallows, really are a symbol of America. They combine the great American pastimes: (Mr. Rich, I get extra points for use of a colon, right?) eating, commercialism, sugar and fat into one lovely animal shaped food. Everyone loves Peeps. Those who don't are Commies. Unless you're a person who doesn't like Peeps whose name also happens to be Sir Rich. Then you are "Captain, my Captain."

Why are Peeps so great anyways? It has to be the nostalgic feel we get from them. Peeps, a simplistic name for a product, appeal to rural values of times gone by in this world where products are named after puns, fictional people, and "futuristic" made up words. Their shapes, ducks and bunnies, remind us of a time when the times we saw these animals were not limited only to their crude representations on foods (and as mascots). Then we swallow them.

BEEP!!! THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY PUBLIC BROADCASTING SYSTEM. Please phoneticize that sound it makes for me.

That other paragraph gave sappy reasons for why people like Peeps. The type of answers you might expect a Congressman or some other public image caring person might give. No, if you want to see the real reason people like Peeps, maybe you should see one of those congresspeople on Peeps (Howard Dean). Yes, Peeps are a safe clean alternative to traditional drugs, where you could get a bad batch and die. We don't get "Taco Bell Situations" with Peeps. No rats went into the making of your Peeps. So relax, sit back and take a bite of your Peep. But make sure you finish reading this first, because you won't be in a position to read after the sugar hits your system. You'll be out making speeches like Howard Dean's "I Have A Scream" speech (joke found on Wikipedia, I refuse to plagiarize something as great as Wikipedia). But for now, we're not only going to eat dinner, we're going to do homework, and then we're going to Rich's room to take our lives back! BYAAH!!!